November 13, 2006

Not just another article about why you Gossip

Posted in Inspirations, Personal Development, Relationship at 6:48 pm by joeychan

I bet, by now, we have all realized that gossips are everywhere.  Teach participant. Sometimes these subjects are stars, and more often they are common friends.

Ironically, it’s always those who have known you for the longest time who gossip about you the most. You share so many common friends and so it’s always the best ice breaker to start conversations with gossip about you. Also, they keep on seeing you with preconcept from 10 years ago or subjective points of view believing that they know you the best and it doesn’t work to talk to you directly about it. But before they realize, you have already changed.

Anyhow, I don’t know if it is regarded as lucky but my friends ALWAYS tell me things that I am NOT SUPPOSED to know- the gossips about me from the conversations they have with other people. I think it’s really sweet that they tell me because I think they are the ones who really know me. They know that I always like to know what people actually think about me so that I can keep track on how I sometimes misexpress myself.

Although I know that gossips are eveywhere, when my friends come around to tell me these gossips about me, I still can’t help myself from getting mad instinctively. I am mad at what these people say about me is totally not the real me. I am also mad at, if these people are upset about me, why can’t they just tell me personally, coz I find this really easy to do. 😀 Then, I realize. I realize that I should actually feel quite sorry for them. It is because these people simply do not have the courage or habit to handle whatever that upsets them. Thus they need to get people to be on their sides to make them feel better and right. These people who have things to say about me, they talk to a common friend of ours who doesn’t/will never know the real details of the incident to get the friend on his/her side. And that makes him/her feel SO MUCH BETTER. Also, what I realize is, many people in the society of Hong Kong simply need to victimize themselves to have conversations with others- victims of a crazy company, victims of a crazy boss, victims of a crazy family, and victims of a crazy friend, like Joey Chan.

Moreoever, like I mentioned, it’s usually how these people have misunderstood me that’s why I get angry upon hearing the gossip. And this is exactly why I should forgive them. Maybe, in fact, at some point, I indeed have done something to misexpress myself. However, I have tried. I have tried to love and care each person I call a friend and to show myself honestly. But if things do not turn out right for others to see the real me, then I guess I have to leave it.

And I can leave it with no hesitation because for sure I am lucky that I have more than enough people who know who and how I really am, and better yet, they appreciate it! 😀 I feel lucky because what people see and appreciate about me is not an image that I have to work hard on faking and maintaining. Not an angel, a princess- but the real me.  I let my friends know when I am happy, moved, mad, or hurt. It’s the real me. The only people left for my conern are these people who know me by hearing gossips about me. These people get to hear a distorted and misinterpreted version of me. But afterall it’s their choice. If they do choose to believe something by hearing, may we leave it to fate and see if they will, one day, decide to judge by seeing instead.

From all the conversations I have been involved in my life so far, I find that it’s always easier to convince people of bad news of others than good news. If you happen to stumble upon this post, hope you can take a moment to think if you are one of them. Don’t do this for me, but for others. Think about why this is how you are. There are lots of good people out there who do not deserve to be misinterpreted. It hurts. And not all people have the stupidity like mine to comfort myself by writing in a blog. So, make your friend’s day by slowing down to observe him/her with your heart and mind. You’ll be surprised.

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